Saved, Single, and. . .Lonely?
If you’re a single, 20-something Christian woman with a family like mine, you probably get an ear-full at every holiday or family reunion:
- “So, anyone new in your life?”
- “My coworker’s son is about your age.” (hint hint)
- “Still looking for Mr. Right, huh?”
We’re focused on Christ, and confident that the Lord will bring the right man along when the time is right. Our society, however, treats being single like it’s a disease and unfortunately can alter our perception of this season.
Don’t let them.
There is a fine line difference between lonely and alone. One person can sit comfortably at home all day enjoying quiet and solitude, while another can be at a party full of dozens of people and still feel lonely. Alone is a state of being; lonely is an emotional feeling. If you’ve accepted Christ into your life, you’re never alone. God informs us in His Word that He’ll never leave nor forsake us [Hebrews 13:5]. Feeling lonely is a trick of the enemy that, if you’re not cautious, can persuade you to surround yourself with bad company.
It’s okay to sometimes experience discontentment in your single season. If we’re being honest, many of us have felt that way from time to time. We’re humans, we have emotions. It’s important to understand, however, that emotions are temporary and can be deceiving. If you’ve been feeling lonely lately, don’t be discouraged. Here are reasons to enjoy your single season:
Remember back in college when you and a group of friends would get together to study for a test or exam, and how it somehow turned into a mini-party? Face it. Sometimes it’s hard to stay focused and get things done when we’re surrounded by friends and loved ones. Jesus kept His twelve disciples close, but even He often left them and went off to secluded areas, sometimes for days at a time. He was preparing for His purpose, and in this season of singleness, so are you.
What is it that you need to accomplish that is difficult to do if in a relationship? Whether it’s college, your career, building your finances, or even strengthening your relationship with God, some things are easier to do while you’re single and still kicking. Take full advantage of it.
“To Everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven” [Ecclesiastes 3:1]. How many times have we rushed into something, just to find out later that we weren’t ready? I know I have. Society, family and friends, and even our personal desires may have ‘assigned time limits’ on where we should be at certain ages in our life:
- Age 21- graduate from college with a secured job
- Age 25- House and car
- Age 35- Married with kids
- Age 55- Retired
Sometimes we have our entire life planned out from A to Z, and it may not even be God’s Will. When it comes to life, there is not a one-size-fits-all. We can’t rush God’s timing, nor should we try to. It’s great to have goals but make sure they’re not idols in your life, or we’ll miss out on enjoying life as it is.
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. . .I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives, and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor–it is the gift of God.”
- You’re Priceless
Let’s not overlook our value. God’s Word informs us that we’re fearfully and wonderfully made [Psalms 139:14], chosen [1 Peter 2:9], and given spirits of power and love [2 Timothy 1:7]. Just like the finest, most valuable jewels are hidden deep within earth’s core, so are we. Single doesn’t mean you’re not worthy, it means you haven’t settled. Don’t allow society or anyone else convince you otherwise.
Spoken from someone who has been single for over six years, I can honestly say that it took time for me to become comfortable in this season, and I love it. I’ve taken this time to emotionally heal from my past, grow in my career, and even travel (and live) overseas. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and have developed a level of confidence so deep in God that I can easily brush off anything that opposes my faith. May this be encouraging and empowering for all the single ladies!
With a B.A in English, Ashley Cottrell has written blogs for Virginia Bride Magazine, Bronze Mag, and has been a contributing writer for numerous other digital entities. Although a Virginia-native, Ashley resides in Puerto Rico fulfilling her passion as a freelance writer. She aims to use her gift of writing to inspire others and share the gospel of Christ. When she's not writing, you can find her nose-deep in a game of chess, Salsa dancing, or making homemade skin care products.