“Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me, let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that maybe, let’ talk about sex.” These are the lyrics from a song written by America Hip-Hop Trio Salt n’ Pepa in the early 1990’s. From music, television shows, magazines, billboard ads, commercials, […]

Breaking the Silence: Let’s Talk About Sex!

Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me, let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that maybe, let’ talk about sex.” These are the lyrics from a song written by America Hip-Hop Trio Salt n’ Pepa in the early 1990’s.

From music, television shows, magazines, billboard ads, commercials, even down to cartoons the topic of sex is practically everywhere. Then in the late nineties and now in the millennial era, sex has been sensationalized, glamorized, and even minimalized to the point where the actual act of sex has lost its true intent.


Instead of talking about sex, it’s time we talk about purity and understand that there’s more to the “purity talk”, then just wait until you get married! Purity is an intentional mindset one chooses to live out on a daily basis whether married or not.  Simply put, purity will not end once you say “I do.” It is a never-ending lifestyle.

Further, we cannot limit the purity conversation to just ­­focusing on the natural consequences of not waiting such as having a child out of wedlock or contracting a horrible disease. We must also focus on the spiritual repercussions of not walking in purity. In today’s culture purity is not a value that most people want to adopt and sex seems like NO BIG DEAL.  However, sex is a really big deal and when taken out of context you stand to lose more than what you intentionally bargained for.

The #1 top ploy of the enemy is to kill, steal, and destroy our relationship with Christ.  He does this very subtly through deception. He tries to make us think that there is nothing wrong with sex, masturbation, and pornography by whispering lies such as,

It’s harmless.”

“Nobody is going to get hurt.”   

“It’s okay, everyone does it.”

Contrary to popular belief, having any type of sex (yes, even anal and oral) before marriage, watching pornography, or masturbating is harmful, is hurting others and no, not everyone is doing it.

When we engage in these things not only does it hurt our spirit man but it also hinders our relationship with Christ.  The enemy wants you distant from God and he is willing to take whatever precautionary measures to create division between you and Christ including telling you lies that your sexual sin is not as harmful as it truly is.  Here are some truths about sexual sin.

It Separates You From God

The Ten Commandments are divine laws that were established during the Old Testament era. They represented a covenant of love given by a personal God. The seventh Commandment in Exodus 20:14 states, “Thou shall not commit adultery.”  Adultery is having sex with another person’s spouse or having sex with someone who is not your husband. Yes, it is possible to commit adultery even if you or the person you are sleeping with is not married. How? Because the person you are having sex with is not your spouse and you, therefore, are sleeping with someone’s future mate who does not belong to you.  Further, any sex before marriage is called “fornication” which is an immoral act and will disqualify you from inheriting the Kingdom of God.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10, states “or do you no know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral or nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor greedy nor drunkards nor slanders nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”

When you inherit the Kingdom of God you also inherit the power and the authority that comes with it.  The enemy knows this and this is why he works overtime to keep you away from it.  Do not fall for his schemes nor be fooled by his deception.

It Keeps You in Bondage

Sex before marriage is all fun and games in the beginning but what happens when the relationship ends? The after effects are usually permanent scars and emotional, mental, and spiritual damage that are sometimes irreparable.  When you are in a relationship where purity is not valued, pretty much anything goes from oral sex, anal sex, masturbation, and viewing pornography because, without purity, sex can lack a moral compass.  The more you engage in these types of sexual activities the more you may find yourself in an addictive habit that you are unable to break. If you find yourself in a sexual addictive habit that is hard to break,  that habit has become your master you and have become its slave. God did not call you to be a slave or bound to anything.

Once you become enslaved by sexual addictive behaviors that are hard to break you are trapped in a spiritual bondage and this is exactly where the enemy wants you—weak, bound, and defenseless.  He wants you in a position where you feel powerless with no choice but to remain hopeless and helpless and stuck in your sin and sexual impurity.  The effects of this is guilt, shame, low self-esteem, and regret.  You may even have thoughts that are not good enough or you will never be able to stop this addictive behavior. This mindset is not true however and you can be free from sexual bondage through a commitment to purity and the strength of Jesus Christ.

It Leads To Spiritual Death

Purity brings spiritual life, but sexual sin leads to spiritual death.  Romans 6:16 states, “don’t you know that when you offer yourself to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are a slave to sin, which leads death or to obedience with leads to righteousness?”

Allow me to make one thing clear, there is nothing wrong with sex when it is performed in the sanctity of marriage.  Marriage is a commitment/covenant that two individuals make before God and other witnesses that as a couple they will love, honor, respect, cherish and be faithful to one another. Sex is what consummates a marriage; It serves as the bonding agent that unites the couple as one.  Mark 10:8, states “and the two shall become one flesh, so they are no longer two but one.”   This union is a threefold cord where God, the man, and the woman have joined together to maintain the vows of their covenant and to advance the Kingdom of God—this is called a godly soul tie.

However, when you are in a physical and intimate relationship that does not value purity and waiting until marriage you may find yourself in an ungodly soul tie.  An ungodly soul tie can be very damaging not only to your mental well-being, but it can also lead to spiritual death because you end up starving your spirit while feeding your flesh.

Choosing to consistently practice a lifestyle of having sex before marriage or engaging in sexual immorality will lead to spiritual destruction. This is why purity is so important.  When you choose to wait until marriage to have sex you are protecting yourself from all the emotional distress,  mental instability, and most importantly the spiritual demise which is the price of sexual sin.

If you are living in a spiritually dead state due to an ungodly soul-time be sure to break free from it today!

How to break an Ungodly soul tie:

Repent  of any sins that were committed while in the relationship.

Renounce.  Aloud say: Heavenly Father,  I now renounce to any ungodly soul tie formed between myself and (partner’s name)  as a result of (every sexual immoral act you guys performed together).

Remove.  Get rid of gifts, flowers, cards, letters, or anything else given to you by the other person in connection with the sin or ungodly soul tie.

Forgive.  If you have anything against the person.

Salt n’ Pepa got the conversation going so Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me, let’s talk about all the good things, and the bad things that maybe, let’s talk about how to walk in sexual purity!

Candi Marsh

CEO & Founder at Purity Guarded
Candi Marsh

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