Ayesha Curry Admits Insecurities From No Male Attention- And I, A Christian Woman, Can Totally Relate
Ayesha Curry, the wife of NBA superstar Stephen Curry, made a statement during a recent interview on the Red Table Talk… and the world went crazy! In an honest and vulnerable moment she admitted that the lack of male attention causes her to feel insecure at times.
In response, there was such a rush to judge her that people hardly took the time to really understand what she meant.
But I understood her. And if I am standing completely in my truth, I can totally relate. My guess is that I am not the only woman who heard what Ayesha said and truly felt her heart.
When Ayesha shared her truth, here is what I did not hear:
I did not hear a woman who is reliant on male attention to form the basis of her identity. I did not hear a woman who is unsatisfied with or ungrateful for her husband. I did not even hear a woman who desperately wants the attention of other men.
What I heard is a woman bold enough to say that there are times where she, like many other women, have doubts about her value, worth, and beauty because she is not a recipient of the kind of attention the world typically offers as a means of validation.
What I heard is a woman who occasionally sees the attention that is so readily and heavily showered on her husband, and then questions what she may be lacking that would leave her absent of the same kind of attention from men.
What I heard is a woman who wants to feel wanted, because life as a wife, mother, and businesswoman is often very unglamorous, thankless, and filled with moments of feeling unseen.
I also heard a woman who occasionally struggles with comparison when she sees other women acknowledging and pursuing her husband and then compares that to what is or isn’t happening with her. This is the most dangerous part.
The thing about comparison is that though it is subtle, it is also destructive. It can take the most content and satisfied person and gradually transform them into someone who is unsure and unsatisfied.
You think you’re attractive and admirable, until you see that you’re not getting the attention your husband or even other women are getting. You think you’re doing well in life until you see someone else doing better. You think you’re making a big impact in the Kingdom, until you see someone else who appears to be doing something bigger. I know you’ve heard it, but comparison really is the thief of joy.
Ayesha, like all of us, is a human being and all human beings struggle with insecurity and comparison. Some of us battle more fiercely than others, but we battle nonetheless. And guess what? You can be a Christian and struggle at the same time. Wow, a shocker I know, but it’s completely true.
We shouldn’t be condemned by man for our transparency in sharing our human struggles when we have a God who understands those struggles and embraces us fully in spite of them.If a perfect God can shower unconditional love and acceptance upon us, who are we as imperfect beings to judge and dismiss one another for being human?
Let me be the first to tell you that the struggle of insecurity and comparison isn’t the real issue. It’s how we respond to that struggle that can become the issue. God knows we are human and will face challenges. He is after all the one who made us. However, He has also given us tools to fight against the attacks of the enemy and win the battles we are faced with.
So what do we do when faced with the struggles of insecurity and comparison?
Keep our eyes on God and our portion. Imagine a world where you can’t compare because you aren’t aware. In Ayesha’s case it’s kind of hard to not be aware that women are vying for her man. But for most of us, it’s a lot easier to control what we see. You can hit the unfollow button. You can fast from social media. You can distance yourself from certain people. Don’t get so focused on what’s going on with someone else that you lose sight of your identity, confidence, purpose, or anything else.
Remember who defines us. There is absolutely no one or nothing that has the authority to define you, other than God. There is no social media acknowledgment or lack thereof that defines who you are or are not. There is no attention or lack thereof that can speak to your worth. God says in His Word that you are created in his image (Genesis 1:27), chosen (1 Peter 2:9), precious (Isaiah 43:4), wanted (John 15:16) , and loved (Jeremiah 31:3). When we learn to look to God instead of man for affirmation, we find true and long-lasting validation.
Reaffirm who we are in the Word of God. As I’ve said, we all struggle. However, we don’t have to embrace and accept the struggle. We can fight against it using the Word as ammunition. When we need affirmation, we need to look to God’s Word instead of other people’s. When we start to feel less than, we need to turn to the Bible to see what it says about who we are. When we start to compare ourselves and our lives to other people, we need to hop in the Word and remind ourselves of who God says we are and what God promises us. When we start to feel unwanted, we need to open our Bibles and read about just how wanted we are by God. When we are reminded of who we are in God, there will be nothing able to shake our identity, confidence, or security in Christ.
The truth is, lack of attention probably doesn’t cause insecurity. Rather, it speaks to insecurities that already exist. But we serve a God bigger than any insecurity we may face and He has equipped us to conquer them. Don’t feel like you have to defend yourself to man simply because you’re brave enough to acknowledge you fight a battle we all face from time to time. Instead, look to God for the strength and encouragement and remember your battle won’t last always.
Staff Writer at Christian En Vogue
Diamond Grant is passionate follower of Christ with a deep love for writing. After rededicating her life to Christ during her college years, Diamond became an advocate for women pursuing mental, emotional, and physical health/wellness. When she is not busy being a homeschooling mama to her son or mentoring women on the road to healing, you can find her with a stack of books and a journal nearby ready to take notes.