As the culture changes, so do its standards and its values. A typical romantic evening has been reduced down to a Netflix’s & chill vibe, lust is the new “love,” marriage is losing its value while the other woman, or better known as the “side-chick”, is being glorified and glamorized. It is no wonder why it is hard for so many singles to find love. The key thing to remember is real love will find you if you let it.
Love and the idea of love is something that has always fascinated me. Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite days of the year and not because it is my birthday either (well maybe a little). I am truly a hopeless romantic; movies like the Titanic and the Notebook are high on my list. I love a good love story and always have been enamored when married couples share how they first met and when they fell in love.
However, before you or anyone else for that matter can be found by love, you first need to know who and what “Real Love” is. Let me start by saying what love is not:
Love is not a feeling or a strong overwhelming emotion
Love is not flowers, candy, and a beautiful card
Love is not jewelry or an expensive gift.
Love is not a romantic dinner
Love is not a trip to a beautiful island
Love is not a beautiful poem
This is where having a hopeless romantic attitude can be deceptive if you are not too careful. All of those things that love is not, aren’t necessarily bad things. Those are all actually wonderful things. I am sure anyone would want someone to give them those things as an act to demonstrate or profess their love, but that is not love.
Love can be tricky. If you look to external factors to define love, you will always be dependent on someone else to validate love for you. Same is true with physical attraction. When it comes to love, lust can easily be confused with love. Now attraction is an essential factor to have in any relationship, but that should not be the only factor. This is how you can tell the difference between love and lust. Lust never wants to wait while love is willing to wait. I know this was an issue for me. My logic was if a person was attracted to me physically that equaled love. However, that was low self-esteem. Further, when I couldn’t find it in a man, I took to masturbation in order to grasp that affection that I longed for. I put myself in these compromising situations to find love, only to be left with the feelings of guilt, shame, and regret. This cycle and patterned continued to where masturbation became my vice.My vice was separating me from God.
God wants us to have a relationship with Him. However, we are not able to actively pursue love, if there is sin in your life. What is your vice? Is it lying, cheating, stealing unforgiveness, hatred toward others, pride, envy, laziness. Be sure to identify your vice and lay it aside. Your vice can be the very weight that is hindering you from pursuing an intimate relationship with Christ. God tells us to lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily separates you from real love. When you lay aside your vice and pursue God you will come to discover that love is already actively pursuing you. This is when I learned the real meaning of love.
Allow me to share what love is from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient
Love is kind
Love is content (not envious)
Love is quiet (not boastful or loud)
Love is humble (not proud)
Love honors others (rather than dishonor)
Love is giving (rather than self-seeking)
Love is patience (not easily angered)
Love keeps no record of wrong
Love delights in truth and not evil
Love always protects, trusts, and hopes
Love never fails
Real love will be patient enough to wait for you and kind enough not to put you to shame! Christ is love and He has pursued us through HIs death for our sins in order for us to have a relationship with him.
Now, talk about a bomb love story! Real love pursues.