The heartbeat of society thrives on companionship and finding that special person. It is only evident in all the dating sites that has emerged in the past decade such as Match, ChristianMingle, eHarmony, and Ourtime to name but a few. It is clearly obvious that people are looking for love.  I too am single and […]

5 Ways to Remain Pure in a Sexually Polluted World

The heartbeat of society thrives on companionship and finding that special person. It is only evident in all the dating sites that has emerged in the past decade such as Match, ChristianMingle, eHarmony, and Ourtime to name but a few. It is clearly obvious that people are looking for love. 

I too am single and waiting for love to find me. I do know that it will happen at the right time- God’s time. The question is, how do single men and women who value the sacredness of sex, maintain and uphold sexual integrity when the odds are stacked against us? From billboards, and magazines, to social media feeds and the movie screens, we are constantly being bombarded with the same message- sex, sex, and again I say SEX!  

We have become so accustomed to seeing sex being portrayed in such trivial manner that the sacredness of such a beautiful act has become lost.  The concept of waiting until marriage to have sex is viewed as a mere joke.  When did purity and sexual integrity become so comical? It has even reached a point to where some people are even ashamed to say that they are a virgin.  Instead of being praised for such a commendable commitment they are being depicted as weird, or even an outcast for not conforming to the world’s standards and its’ views on sex.     

So how do you stay pure in a sexually polluted world?  I have listed what I believe 5 ways in which you can:

Have standards and keep them

Society will continue to give us its standards on sex. You as a child of God must have your own standards and choose to stick to them.  If the standard is “I will not have sex until I get married” then that is the standard. If anyone tries to convince you to lower your standard, be strong and empowered enough to uphold it regardless.  Keeping your standards will not always be popular, and you may have to stand alone in the choices you make and that is okay. When you keep the standards you set for yourself it demonstrates that you have positive self-esteem and you care about yourself.

Have and set clear boundaries

Boundaries are specific and detailed guides to help you uphold your standards. If someone cannot accept your boundaries then you may want to evaluate if you’re in the right relationship. Having clear boundaries is simply communicating ‘this is how I would like to be treated if you would like to maintain a dating relationship with me.’ Examples of such boundaries could be not accepting calls or text after 10pm or  not kissing on the first date.

Have accountability-

Having accountability while dating is imperative.  As your relationship begin to progress and emotions get stronger, you may find it a challenge to keep your standards.  Find someone you can confide in and trust, who will pray with you, and not judge you but rather guide you on the right path. Finding an accountability partner is half the battle though. The key to effective accountability is honesty and transparency/ Pray and ask God who would be the best person that you can be open and honest with. 

 

Have self-awareness

Being self-aware is intentionally being mindful as to what you will allow to enter into your space. Be aware of the type of music you listen to, especially avoiding those with explicit lyrics. Also be aware of the type of shows and movies you elect to watch. Steer clear of those with a lot of profanity or nudity. Even books and magazines where the content is sexually potent should be avoided. Although you may think that it is harmless, these things can subconsciously impact your behaviors and actions. As the old saying goes, what goes in, will eventually come out.  Therefore, make it a point to strive to only have healthy and positive portrayals of love and companionship in your space.

Have patience while you wait– Waiting on your mate can be difficult. Trust me I know what it’s like to start to notice that everyone who was once in your single circle is now married. Please do not allow this to discourage you or even encourage you to lower your standards by any means; that’s the easy way out. Plus, when you do that you will be disrespecting yourself and devaluing your self-worth just for a relationship. Even after you’ve lowered your standards, there is no guarantee that it will work out and in the end you’ll still be left in pain, heart ache, and disappointment. Therefore, commit to saving yourself some unnecessary emotional turmoil and wait of God’s best for you.

 

Candi Marsh

CEO & Founder at Purity Guarded
Candi Marsh

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